I know when success is right around the corner. I’ve seen the shift in mindset from the people I consult.
Do you settle for less than you can be? Some of you can honestly say yes to this and back up your answer through an increased joy in your quality of life or business success; Both financially and productively. Some of you are also saying yes but your “feel good” attitude towards your answer is short lived when you look at the details of how your life can truly be. It’s not about a “unicorns and rainbows” way of thinking or the benefits of positive thinking, although that can undoubtedly help. It’s about being so authentic to your natural talents and are delegating your non-talents so well that you refuse to accept anything less than the best.
The top performers, naturally, don’t settle. They are unreasonable in their expectations, regardless of what the culture says. They force life to work with them on their terms, not the other way around. They know what they are good at and what they like to do and they refuse to allow themselves to get into work or roles, or relationships for that matter, that force them to be unhappy being something they are not.
Just after college I went to work for Johnson and Johnson as a surgical sales representative. I was struggling as a sales person. It wasn’t that I wasn’t a good sales person, or that I wasn’t smart or hard working enough, but that the sales process I had been taught wasn’t a good fit for my natural drivers and talents. My motivations weren’t the same as most of the other sales reps. One day I was telling my sales manager, Rick Gilson, how unsatisfied I was with my own results. Rick told me something that day that seemed rather insignificant at the time, but later his words would take on a life of their own. Rick said, “You get what you accept.”
Anthony Robbins, in Awaken the Giant Within, recalls the point in his life when he stopped accepting what he got. “I remember feeling like my life didn’t matter, as if the events of the world were controlling me. I also remember the moment my life changed, the moment I finally said, ‘I’ve had it! I know I’m much more than I’m demonstrating mentally, emotionally and physically in my life.’ I made a decision in that moment which was to alter my life forever. I decided to change virtually ever aspect of my life. I decided I would never again settle for less than I could be.”
Not only is this a great example of someone who decided to stop accepting what he got, but it also shows the importance of realizing that you are actually in control. When Tony realized that he was in control of his success and destiny his belief switched from believing that the world controlled him, to believing that he controlled him. He realized he was in the driver’s seat.
I firmly believe that it is the individuals who must take ownership of this changing paradigm first and foremost. In today’s intellectual economy, companies need to realize that no one rides a bus anymore. Today, top performers don’t want a bus ticket, they want a company car – and they want to drive it themselves.
A significant part of achieving much higher performance levels is realizing that you don’t have to settle. We don’t live under a totalitarian regime. You are not forced into one role or one job for life. You are free to do whatever you want, wherever you want, and as more organizations become enlightened and start to realize that top performers want to lead their own lives, they too will allow you to control more of your own destiny within the company.
So, if you are unhappy with where you are in life, just remember – you get what you accept. As for me, Rick’s words will always play an important part in my life, but in some ways he probably regrets them because when I did take them to heart I realized that I was being inauthentic and once I decided to stop accepting that – I quit.
If you have any social relationships at all with business partners, customers or even coaching and consulting prospects, you have undoubtably noticed that there are some people that you are instantly more compatible with than others.
This is no great mystery within itself, but what you may not realize is that your DISC results can show you WHY you are not communicating as well as you could be.
For example, If you are a High D and you are talking to another High D, then odds are that you understand each other to a greater level than most people. Your mutual appreciation to move quickly and not ask a lot of questions, will not be seen as a threat but progress in the right direction.
However, If you are a High D and you are talking with a High S, these two styles can easily get off on the wrong foot. D can quickly become aggravated by what is perceived to be the High C’s overly detailed, risk-averse, pedantic approach. Conversely, the High C can become equally as frustrated by what is perceived to be the High D’s high-risk, under-planned, irresponsible level of “lack of
Read more about the different styles below and how you can learn to adapt appropriately to communicate with your prospects, partners and associates. If you just want to skip forward to the chart you can here, but I recommend you read the descriptions of each style interaction as well.
High D — High D
Two High D’s “get each other.” They share similar styles, so they share the same drive to move quickly, be decisive and compete. Therefore, they will appreciate each other’s need to move quickly, not ask a lot of questions and won’t view the other’s actions as overly aggressive or competitive. There is, however, the potential that both may butt heads trying to control the discussion.
High D — High I
The High D and the High I share many of the same tendencies, like urgency, risk-taking and a desire for change. They differ, however, in their approaches. Whereas the High D will likely seek to directly control a situation, the High I will seek to persuade rather than direct. Both will prefer high-level discussions; only the High I will prefer more discussion than the High D.
High D — High S
The High D and High S have only a moderate level of natural comfort with each other. Whereas the High D will prefer to move quickly, decisively and directly, the High S will counter with a desire for a slower pace, more considerate action and to be less direct (aggressive). The High D is likely to overpower the High S, causing tension and reducing the comfort further. While the High D may view the High S as fearful or timid, the High S may view the High D as pushy and controlling.
High D — High C
Having a naturally low level of comfort, these two styles can easily get off on the wrong foot. The High D can quickly become aggravated by what is perceived to be the High C’s overly detailed, risk-averse, pedantic approach. Conversely, the High C can become equally as frustrated by what is perceived to be the High D’s high-risk, under-planned, irresponsible level of “lack of thought.” Significant discomfort can appear between these two styles and both will need to adapt their approach in order to communicate effectively.
High I — High I
Sharing the same style, the two High I’s will enjoy an immediate bond and high levels of comfort in their communications. Both will seek to socialize, get to know one another and share thoughts and emotions. Likewise, both will prefer to stick to high-level discussions, choosing to skim over the details. While sharing like styles will benefit their comfort with each other, two High I’s can easily take each other off track with excessive socializing. Being fairly disorganized to begin with, two such people can exhaust what time they had available for business by talking about everything but the original objective.
High I — High S
Whereas both styles enjoy a people-focused orientation, and seek to connect rather than control or analyze, they only enjoy a moderate level of comfort; with the High S perceiving the High I as being overly “salesy,” or pushy. The High I, on the other hand, can misinterpret the lack of emotion from the High S as being standoffish or disinterested. These “risk aversion” versus “risk taking” differences can cause further tension.
High I — High C
These two styles will enjoy a low level of comfort at best in most cases. While the High I wants to be open, have fun, move quickly, stick to the big picture and avoid the minutiae, the High C prefers to remain closed, stay professional, move slowly, dig deep into the specifics and thrives on the details. The natural actions of both styles will tend to be the opposite of the other’s preference. While not as distant as the High D to
the High C, these two styles must adapt significantly to get along.
High S — High S
Like all other identical styles, two High S’s will enjoy a high level of comfort and communicate effectively with each other. Sharing the same style, they will each prefer to take it slow, not rock the boat, resist change, and create order, structure and security. Both will, however reinforce the potential for inaction in the other. Both could enable the other in their resistance to change, thus promoting too low a sense of urgency.
High S — High C
The High S and High C only enjoy a moderate level of comfort and compatibility. While they both share similar needs for structure, certainty and low-risk environments, the High S has a more open, people-orientated perspective whereas the High C is more closed and takes a task-oriented point of view. The High S prefers to respect others and is sincere in his support of people. The High C, however, is more focused on accuracy and the rules and can therefore run afoul of the High S’s respect for others — when those others break the rules of fall short of expectations.
High C — High C
Two High C’s tend to enjoy favorable compatibility with each other due to their sharing the same preferences
for order, correctness, details, accuracy and compliance with some procedure. Their needs to gather data and move slowly and cautiously only serve to improve their compatibility. Being very sensitive about their work, however, two High C’s could come into conflict if their beliefs differ . . . as neither is prone to admit mistakes or being wrong.
After spending several decades assessing the natural talents and authenticity of thousands of coaches, consultants, fortune 500 executives and thought leaders around the globe (as well as re-assessing my own humble abilities) I’ve come to notice an important factor that is easily overlooked when it comes to understanding how to live your life on your terms; Your intuition.
Intuition: “The knowledge from within; instinctive knowledge or feeling without the use of rational processes” The Oxford English Dictionary
Listening to the silent voice inside your head has received horrid portrayals in movies and books as the evil part of man’s mind that turns mild-mannered citizens into lunatic killers.
It’s no wonder that many of us have been conditioned to ignore that voice and only listen to outside signals as our measurement of effectiveness to the actions we take in life.
This could not be further from the truth to someone who is looking to perform at a higher level in life. The voices in your head have always been there speaking to you every day – you just haven’t realized it yet. They are seen on the surface as what is typically called intuition. You must learn to listen to it effectively if you are going to reach your own level of genius performance.
Intuition is not about extrasensory perception (ESP), a sixth sense or anything mystical or metaphysical. It is about data, gathered by your five senses, being recognized by your subconscious mind instead of your conscious mind.
Carl Jung noted, “Intuition does not denote something contrary to reason, but something outside of the province of reason.”
Intuition is about instinctive or subconscious awareness. When I talk with people about the difference between using their conscious and subconscious minds, I use the words reasoning and reacting. Reasoning is the result of logical, rational thought driven by the conscious mind. Reacting is the result of following the intuitive, subconscious mind. Since the subconscious mind misses nothing and is aware of everything around you, whenever you have a feeling about something you can’t explain, it is usually the case that you just can’t explain it based on what your conscious mind is aware of.
Intuition is that sudden flash of insight that comes out of nowhere. It’s that sense you get or decision you make without really thinking about it; it just comes to you. In reality, it doesn’t come out of nowhere. It comes from everything your subconscious mind is aware of. Instead of dismissing intuition as an unfounded and irrational
impulse, genius level success requires that you learn to accept and respect this voice, as it is your natural talents talking to you.
This is easier said than done, though. Just as we are taught not to trust our subconscious mind as much as our conscious one, we’re also taught to go with what we know, not what we feel.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”~ Albert Einstein
Of mammals, humans seem to be the only ones that actively discourage listening to intuition, but there is a lot of research that proves that intuition actually plays a larger role in decision-making than most conventional teaching would lead us to believe.
• Research into the decision-making of consumers shows that
as much as 95% of the decision to purchase something is subconscious (Harvard-Zaltman, 2003).
• Research on fire fighters showed that 80% of their decisions were subconscious and intuitive rather than logical and rational (Klein et al., 2003).
• Research on naval commanders showed that 95% of their decisions were based on intuition and “gut” rather than actually analyzing and comparing options (Klein et al., 1996).
• Yet another study of commercial airline crews in 1991 found that more than 95% of their decisions were what was termed “snap judgments,” which are those based on intuition, not rationale (Mosier, 1991).
• In a study of offshore oilfield managers, one study showed similarly that 90% of their decisions were not of the conscious, rational type, rather they were snap judgments and intuitive (Flin, 1996).
Great athletes are often quoted as saying, “If I have to think about it, it’s too late.” Even those people that most of us would assume must be very logical and rational turn out to be very much driven by their intuitions.
Physicist Albert Einstein’s genius for conceptual thinking was much more a feeling for him than a rationalization of the facts. So intuitive and pure was this talent, that he only vaguely understood it and rarely attempted to use words or logic to define it. In his work, Principles of Research, Einstein said, “There is no logical path to [truth]. Only intuition, resting on sympathetic understanding of experience, can reach it.”
This level of trust in intuition is not unusual for any of the modernday geniuses we studied either. Most had a very hard time attempting to explain their decisions in a literal sense. They just knew how they felt and what things they saw clearly or not. Their level of intuition and willingness to trust their gut is extreme.
Painter Pablo Picasso once told a friend, “I don’t know in advance what I am going to put on the canvas any more than I decide beforehand what colors I am going to use. Each time I undertake to paint a picture, I have a sensation of leaping into space. I never know whether I shall land on my feet.” What Picasso is saying here is that he followed his intuition (genius) wherever it led him. He is not trying to control it, he is just trusting his gut and going with the flow.
Poet Robert Frost spoke about his process for writing poetry as one of “carrying out some intention more felt than thought.”
Author Isabel Allende says of her books, “In a very organic way, books don’t happen in my mind, they happen somewhere in my belly. I don’t know what I am going to write about because it has not yet made the trip from belly to the mind.”
Learning to trust your intuition will be one of the more significant journeys you will take to reach the peak of your authenticity towards your natural talents and expectations in every aspect of your life.